Master(bation) class of Me

I can’t masturbate. I’m lazy with my lady-garden, a novice with my nunu and inexperienced with my vajayjay.

I consider myself a sexually adventurous woman, fairly experienced and with a decent knowledge of how orgasm works, but I have never once managed to bring myself off using only my hands. I think it’s probably because I got my first vibrator relatively young, and I just never had the patience to do it myself when it was so easy! But I have decided that I need to connect with my clit and get to know her. How can I expect anyone else to touch her in the best way when I can’t do it myself? I’ve done a bit of online research on popular techniques, and I will be making sure I allow enough ‘me time’ to get to know my own genitals and find out what makes them tick and hopefully click.

I’m debating handing over all my vibrators to K for a couple of weeks to force myself in to ‘detox’ as inspired by Girl On The Net’s post about giving up her Doxy. I think I’ll see how I go first, and hand them over if I need to.


I can’t lie, I’m actually nervous about doing this. What if I can’t do it? I masturbated a fair bit as a teenager, but never managed to come. Rubbing against pillows, and finding the biggest thing in the bathroom I could fit inside my vagina.. I don’t recommend that, it ended with a bout of cystitis. I think it was a hairspray can.

Anyroadup, I’m gonna get my wank-on. Wish me luck.

KD xx


Full Throttle.

I have never liked tight things around my neck, turtle necks and chokers don’t find much space in my wardrobe. It just kind of freaks me out.
I can wear a collar with K, because he knows how I feel and is very good about how tightly it is fastened, and taking it off if I need. But I always used to hate it when he tried to touch my neck, either to tickle under my chin or for something more dominant. But recently, I’ve changed. I don’t know what’s caused it, but suddenly he can hold me down by my throat and all it does is turn me on hugely. I don’t know if in the last year of our relationship I have perhaps come to trust him more, particularly through our journey in BDSM. We’ve been together for over 7 years, living together for 5. I suppose it isn’t unexpected that our relationship is still growing and changing. It could also be that I’ve entered my 30s, allegedly the decade where a woman really learns who she is, and becomes a sexually confident butterfly, emerging from the uncertain chrysalis of her twenties. Or something.
All I know is that suddenly (in the last month) I have found that being held in a headlock, or having his hand on my neck gets the panties pinging. Especially during a rough session of fight-fucking.

Because he’s not a dick, and doesn’t actually want to strangle me he tends to put the pressure more on my collarbone & sternum than on my actual neck. Once or twice it’s made breathing a little more restricted, but it’s never stopped my breathing enough to be uncomfortable. The idea of breath play doesn’t appeal to me, but at least having enjoyed a little light strangling I can see where the attraction might come from.

I guess it’s like Stilton. Just because I didn’t like it when I was 25 didn’t mean I never would. I LOVE Stilton now. My tastes are still evolving as I grow and change.. perhaps there’s another kink out there that’s my red wine.

Maybe one day I’ll learn to like red wine, but not today.

KD xx

Dirty Talk (and why I don’t)

“Squirt your cum juice all over me”

“Ram your cock in my wet love-hole”

“Pump my pussy with your man meat”

I think it’s fair to say that I suck at dirty talk. When I think about what I want to say beforehand, it’s fine and I can be passably good. But the phrases that occur to me in the heat of the moment tend to sound like some 13-yr-old boys hormone soaked imaginings. I don’t tend to say them aloud, as the few times I have it’s resulted in hysterical laughter and a fair bit of embarrassment. I’m a big fan of laughter in the bedroom, but those kind of phrases tend to appear when I’m most into it, and that’s a mood killer. IMG_1074 (2)
Dirty talk can be so freaking hot. Whisper in my ear that I’m a naughty girl when we’re stood in the middle of Waitrose and they’ll likely be calling for a clean-up in Aisle 3. Call me a dirty bitch while you fingerfuck me and you’ll be wet to the elbow. Ask me to reciprocate much more than a ‘fuck yes’ during sex, and you’ll just pull a rib muscle from laughing.
If you get anything sensible from me when you’re actually fucking me, I’m probably not in to it. I almost certainly want you to be in to it, and I’m probably quite happy, but I ain’t blasting off to Planet O in the next few minutes. Heated silence, garbled nothings, or a contender for the Bad Sex in Fiction award and I’m possibly on the edge of glory.

I fail at sex talk. I fail SO HARD. I get so tongue-tied that I say nothing even when I want to. I can’t talk about fantasies in the moment. Don’t ask me what I’m thinking, because I’m not thinking! And if I am, you don’t want to hear what about, because it’s either how good your manstick feels in my cunthole or the washing up.

Double (ended) Trouble

Today’s review post is for the Doc Johnson Junior Veined 12 Inch Double Ended Dildo, which is a bit of a mouthful (ooh, matron!).

Sadly, I’ve never been able to use this as a double-ender, but if you like a bit of length I fully recommend this product. It’s firm enough to penetrate easily without ‘wibbling’ all over the place, soft enough not to hurt if you’re pounding it in to yourself like a pneumatic drill, and flexible enough that it’s fun to helicopter around your head. It’s also got enough weight to it that you could clobber an intruder in your home around the head to reasonable effect! It’s my second choice of defence weapon after the spreader bar.

It’s made of Doc Johnsons Sil-a-Gel material, meaning it’s body safe, antibacterial, latex-free and pthalate free.

This dildo has a ‘comfortable’ girth, without being slim-fitting. It fills me up nicely, without feeling stuffed. I love to go really hard with this toy, as I don’t hurt myself when/if I ram it against my cervix, unlike my favourite glass toys.

As and when I get the opportunity to try this as a proper double-ender, I’ll update you on its performance.

If you want something with sensible length, and ‘normal’ girth, this is an excellent option.